Will They Liberate New York
From Nowy Dziennik
April 4, 2003
By Marek Tomaszewski
Newspapers have reported that the U.S. Armys Third Infantry
Division, having destroyed the Medina division of Iraqs Republican
Guard defending the south of Baghdad, entered the outskirts of the
Iraqi capital. The marines from the First Division, having fought
with the members of the Iraqi militia known as Fedayeen (or those
who are willing to die for Saddam), are currently within a few miles
of Baghdad. Commenting on the course of events on the frontlines,
one of American generals said: soon we will thrust the switchblade
into the heart of the oppressor.
Perhaps the American soldiers, having liberated Baghdad and Iraq,
before they return to their wives and fiancées could stop
by New York for a moment and liberate us from the anti-smoking despotism
Beginning April 1, Mayor Michael Bloomberg and the 51 members of
the City Council have mandated that smoking be banned in all bars,
restaurants and offices. The citys Department of Health has
announced that owners of bars will have to pay a fine of $200 if
they fail to abide by the new law.
As reported by New York Citys tabloids, inspectors are already
circling Manhattan. They are creating black lists of
bars and restaurants where still unfazed smokers are practicing
this baleful habit. In a few weeks they will pull [the lists] out
of their sleeves to punish those guilty of antismoking insubordination.
I would like to ask [a question] why is using nicotine,
which is legally sold in stores, treated by the authorities of New
York as something deserving of punishment?
Will the next step to supposedly make us happier be a ban on fried
chickens, dripping with fat? Or maybe on candy? After all, they
are also considered to have a detrimental impact on health.
I am suggesting that before we see any anti-fat and anti-sugar
action of the mayor, the marines visit New York and liberate us
from the anti-smoking oppression. Their action would return to us
the liberty to spend leisure time the way we choose to, without
the interference of governmental Fedayeens.
Translated from Polish by Joanna Sufin.
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